HIV AND DISCLOSURE
As an HIV-positive person, there are bound to be many situations in your life where you will be faced with the decision of whether or not to disclose your HIV status, i.e. to tell others that you are infected with HIV. Is there someone you feel you want to tell, but aren't sure what and how much to disclose?
Who do you need to tell - your spouse, partner or someone who you have been dating? What about informing any sexual partners you've been with about your status? Do you have to advise healthcare workers about your status? Are there any circumstances where you are legally required to disclose that you are HIV positive?
It takes time to adjust to being HIV positive. Do not rush into disclosing your HIV status without giving it some thought first. You need to be selective about disclosure - who you tell and when you tell them.
There is still a stigma attached to the whole subject of HIV and those who have it. Despite more understanding and wider acceptance, unsympathetic and prejudicial reactions are still not uncommon in families, workplaces and social situations.
What to consider when disclosing your HIV status:
- You don't have to tell everyone. The choice is yours so be selective.
- Consider the five"W's": who, what, when, where and why? Who do you need to tell? What do you want to tell them about your HIV infection and what are you expecting from the person you are disclosing to? When should you tell them? Where is the best place to have this conversation? Why are you telling them?
- Take your time to consider who to tell and how to tell them.
- Consider whether there is a real purpose to tell this person. Telling people indiscriminately may affect your life in ways you have not considered.
- Having feelings of uncertainty about disclosing is a very common reaction in this situation.
- You don't have anything to apologise for simply because you are HIV positive. You have a virus. It doesn't mean you did anything wrong.
- Keep it simple, you don't have to tell your life story.
- Avoid isolating yourself about your status. If you are still not able to tell friends or family, draw upon support from HIV groups in the community.
- Whatever response you receive in a specific situation - even if it does not go the way you expected - you‘re going to survive it and your life will go on.
- You will get through it. Millions of others have dealt with this experience and found a way through it.
Studies have shown that most HIV-positive people disclose their diagnosis to their significant other within a few days of learning of their status. The HIV issue in relation to a significant other can be complex. If you've had unprotected sex with your partner, it's a matter of alerting them to the fact that they may have been at risk and should get tested. Regardless of your partner's decision to test and his or her results, you are now making them aware of the need for both of you to practice protected sex together in the future.
You might also want to tell your spouse or partner in an effort to get the emotional support you need. Sometimes people fear becoming a burden when they have health problems. Actually, sharing these daily experiences can be seen as an opportunity for building a deeper intimacy and a stronger partnership.
It is perfectly normal to experience anxiety about telling a partner. Before he or she can respond to your needs, your partner may feel anxiety about his or her HIV status (which can only be addressed through HIV testing) and may also feel angry or upset if the HIV infection occurred sexually, outside of the relationship. HIV status can put strain on the relationship. It is important for you to give some thought as to when and how to disclose, while bearing in the mind that "keeping secrets" is generally not recommended. This is a time when seeking professional counselling can be very helpful.
What are my legal and human rights?
Everyone has a right to privacy. If you have HIV or AIDS, you have the right to keep that information to yourself. An employer or hospital cannot force you to tell them or to have a blood test.
Reference
METROPOLITAN FOUNDATION. 2009. B the Future cellbook. South Africa.